Today was an early rise to get to Kangaroo Island. I was excited about this trip because a part of December Boys was filmed there and it looked absolutely amazing in the film. Hendrik’s parents had booked SeaLink’s one day tour of Kangaroo Island Highlights. The day began well with a coach transfer to the ferry. On the way I took a nap but also saw lots of kangaroos in the fields. The ferry ride was long and boring but I knew the best was yet to come.
When we got on our coach on Kangaroo Island I was a bit disappointed to see that 95% of the people on it were over the age of 55 and the only seats available were way in the back so we took the last row so we could all sit together.
Then the tour began. Our guide, Les, was born and raised on Kangaroo Island and he used to be a farmer so he talked a lot about canola, the crop that grows on Kangaroo Island. He pointed out every single yellow field and said that’s canola. He also talked about Kangaroos and said the best way we could get close and personal to one was if the driver ran over one and hopefully we would be able to do this. Luckily we saw no Kangaroos on Kangaroo Island, and therefore, the bus didn’t have to hit one. Hendrik, his parents, and I were completely stunned. We were tourists and were hoping to see plenty of the jumping critters on Kangaroo Island, that’s the name of the island, but apparently Les had already run them all down. Then he continued to talk about the feral cats and the problem they cause to farmers and described how the farmers kill the cats in detail. He said he would love to give us each a gun and set us off to kill the cats around the island. I was completely in shock at this point.
The group slowly making its way down to the beach
Our first stop was Seal Bay where we could go down to the beach with a guide; at least it wasn’t Les, to see Australian Sea Lions so it was interesting. The only problem was that with such a huge group of old people it took about 10 minutes for everyone to get off the bus, and we were last. Then they walked at a snail’s pace down to the beach. I’d never seen sea lions in the wild before so it was a cool experience.
Sea lion
Then it was back on the bus so Les could point out some more canola fields and also bee hives. There were many bee hives on the island and because of their purity in genes they are famous for their honey. It was great once, but I didn’t think “expert commentary” included three or four times telling us to look at an old tattered wooden box. Then we had lunch and after lunch we attended the birds of prey live show. I’d seen many bird shows before but I enjoyed this one because people from the audience were allowed to grab a glove and let the bird rest on their hand. I’d never held a wild bird so I thought that was neat and this made it the best bird of prey show I’ve ever seen.
Next we stopped at the remarkable rocks, the set for the scene in December Boys. I was disappointed when Les said we had to be back on the bus in 21 minutes. That meant by the time I got off the bus I’d have 11 minutes for a mad dash to the rocks take some pictures and then a mad dash back, and that’s exactly what it was. Yes, I thought the rocks really were remarkable and wish I’d had more time to explore them.
Me pretending to be a December Boy
Then we headed to Admiral’s Arch where we only had 15 minutes to check out the famous rock formation. I was glad that I knew that if the passengers went down to Admiral’s Arch then no way would they make it in 15 minutes so this allowed for at least 25 minutes. Some of the slower passengers took Les so seriously that they didn’t even go down the ramp and stairs to see Admiral’s Arch and fur seals.
Admiral's Arch
Then we were taken to Flinders Chase National Park souvenir shop where we were given a good half hour to make purchases which I wouldn’t dare to make and give Les commission. Our last stop was to see a koala. Koalas live on the island and we went to a spot where we were guaranteed a sighting. We drove slowly by, and I spotted a koala in a tree and shouted out that there was a koala. Other people saw it too and started yelling to stop. Les was confused and asked, “did someone see a koala?” to which the whole bus yelled, “yes!” The bus stopped and after Les finally saw it he said, “Well I found you a koala.” I wanted to punch him right then and there. At least I can say that I’ve seen a koala in the wild.
Koala
Then we had the bus ride to the airport since Hendrik’s parents booked the option to fly back to Adelaide. Les had already pointed out every canola field and bee box on the island so there was nothing left for the funny man except to tell jokes. These jokes were cringe worthy and involved old women and condoms. They were dirty embarrassing jokes that made me feel surreal. I couldn’t believe that this was actually happening. That money was paid to sit on a bus and listen to this dribble. Just when I thought things couldn’t get worse Les decided to entertain us with the Aussie folk song Waltzing Matilda, and not by playing a tape on the stereo but by singing it himself. He went through the first verse and refrain where I thought he’d stop but no he continued with his painfully raspy tone-deaf voice. Now this song had 4 verses not to mention the refrain between each verse, and I was already completely mortified. So when he continued Hendrik yelled, “Shut up.” I was so proud I started to applaud and others chuckled. Les did stop singing which was definitely good, but then proceeded to analyze and explain every word of the song all four verses of it. I understood why the tour guide next to us who was with a small group who was on our tour played his mp3 player for this last leg of the journey.
The airport couldn’t have come soon enough and once we arrived we just bolted in only to be told that the company had confused our dates and there was no airplane for us. We were blown away yet again and just went off to the lady how horrible this whole tour had been. It wasn’t her fault but we needed to vent at someone and she was very understanding and lovely. She couldn’t move us to the other company’s plane because it was full so they had to call a plane from Adelaide. While we waited for 1.5 hours in the tiniest airport imaginable, the lady gave us cookies, tea and coffee. Finally, just as the sun was setting the tiniest airplane arrived and we could finally leave Kangaroo Island.
The plane
The airplane home was by far the highlight. It was the smallest airplane I’d ever been in and only seated 4 and the pilot gave us the safety briefing outside which we all found humorous and took pictures. At least the airplane ride redeemed some of the day because it was spectacular.
Safety Breifing
If anyone reading this is planning a day tour to Kangaroo Island do yourself a favor and do not go with SeaLink. It was absolutely the worst tour I’ve ever been on and I’ve been on many. If you do go with SeaLink and your guide is Les, run.
Sunset over Kangaroo Island
